Watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman After Finding Out About Adultery in Relationship

I have wanted to watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman for awhile. I remember the first time I was going to watch it years ago, I ordered it from Netflix.

However, I was gone for over a month visiting my husband in another state. This was when he first left to start a different job away from our home. (Long story that I will get into later. Just know that he didn't 'leave' in the traditional sense. It was a career choice. And I had no suspicion of him cheating on me.)

Anyway, my son stayed home and returned the movie. I forgot about the movie, and didn't watch it.

Then it came on television tonight. I was glad I found a movie that I thought might be good.

I wonder now how differently I would have reacted to the movie if I had originally watched it years ago, before he cheated. Well, before I found out that he had been committing adultery.

As it happened though, I watched Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman alone in my bedroom AFTER I found out he cheated. I was glad that none of my kids were around. I cried through the whole movie. It brought all of the pain from my husband's adultery to the surface. But I also laughed with Medea.

(Warning: Spoiler alerts if you haven't watched the movie)

First of all, I've got to say that I loved Medea's approach to the problem. Rip up all of those designer clothes! It will make you feel better. I wish I had something to rip up to make me feel better.

I was so angry at Helen for letting her husband continue to be so abusive to her. When she finally slapped him and turned the tables for awhile, I wanted to stand up and give her a standing ovation. I embraced her rage at her husband. I can relate. I have to say, I don't know if I would have picked him up out of the tub.

When Helen started taking care of him, I just couldn't understand. She's a much better woman than me. I couldn't do that. I have a hard enough time not screaming at my husband like a maniac when he's home. I want to cause him pain like he hurt me. If my daughter wasn't around, I probably would.

Helen had a wise mother. Her mother told her that she had to forgive him for cheating. Not for him- Helen had to forgive her husband for herself. Otherwise, Helen's his prisoner. Her husband has all of the power until she forgives. Forgiving him sets her free.

Wise advice. I wish I could follow it. It's been over a year since I found out my husband committed adultery. I still cry almost every day. I still hate him most of the time. And I sob like a baby when I watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Probably because I'm a mad woman myself. And this is my diary.

Also, when Orlando tells Helen to trust their love, that's all she needs to do. Instead of thinking, "Aw, how sweet and romantic", I cried again. Because that's what I did- I trusted our love, the sanctity of our wedding vows, the loyalty of my husband. Stupid decision to trust his heart, I know now. Too bad fairy tales aren't real. Too bad I don't have a knight in shining armor. I could use one right about now.