Watching Diary of a Mad Black Woman After Finding Out About Adultery in Relationship

I have wanted to watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman for awhile. I remember the first time I was going to watch it years ago, I ordered it from Netflix.

However, I was gone for over a month visiting my husband in another state. This was when he first left to start a different job away from our home. (Long story that I will get into later. Just know that he didn't 'leave' in the traditional sense. It was a career choice. And I had no suspicion of him cheating on me.)

Anyway, my son stayed home and returned the movie. I forgot about the movie, and didn't watch it.

Then it came on television tonight. I was glad I found a movie that I thought might be good.

I wonder now how differently I would have reacted to the movie if I had originally watched it years ago, before he cheated. Well, before I found out that he had been committing adultery.

As it happened though, I watched Tyler Perry's Diary of a Mad Black Woman alone in my bedroom AFTER I found out he cheated. I was glad that none of my kids were around. I cried through the whole movie. It brought all of the pain from my husband's adultery to the surface. But I also laughed with Medea.

(Warning: Spoiler alerts if you haven't watched the movie)

First of all, I've got to say that I loved Medea's approach to the problem. Rip up all of those designer clothes! It will make you feel better. I wish I had something to rip up to make me feel better.

I was so angry at Helen for letting her husband continue to be so abusive to her. When she finally slapped him and turned the tables for awhile, I wanted to stand up and give her a standing ovation. I embraced her rage at her husband. I can relate. I have to say, I don't know if I would have picked him up out of the tub.

When Helen started taking care of him, I just couldn't understand. She's a much better woman than me. I couldn't do that. I have a hard enough time not screaming at my husband like a maniac when he's home. I want to cause him pain like he hurt me. If my daughter wasn't around, I probably would.

Helen had a wise mother. Her mother told her that she had to forgive him for cheating. Not for him- Helen had to forgive her husband for herself. Otherwise, Helen's his prisoner. Her husband has all of the power until she forgives. Forgiving him sets her free.

Wise advice. I wish I could follow it. It's been over a year since I found out my husband committed adultery. I still cry almost every day. I still hate him most of the time. And I sob like a baby when I watch Diary of a Mad Black Woman. Probably because I'm a mad woman myself. And this is my diary.

Also, when Orlando tells Helen to trust their love, that's all she needs to do. Instead of thinking, "Aw, how sweet and romantic", I cried again. Because that's what I did- I trusted our love, the sanctity of our wedding vows, the loyalty of my husband. Stupid decision to trust his heart, I know now. Too bad fairy tales aren't real. Too bad I don't have a knight in shining armor. I could use one right about now.

How This He Cheated on Me Blog Was Born

Why in the world would I decide to start a very personal blog about when my husband cheated on me? Well, I'm hoping that this blog will help me deal with the anger, hurt, sadness, despair, and the myriad of other emotions that I go through. And if others read this and somehow it helps them, then maybe some good actually will come from my husband cheating.

There are other reasons for spilling my heart out online. It is the updated, modern version of a diary. Writing things down really does help a person heal, I think. And for me at least, it helps me to think more clearly and to calm down. But I can't keep a diary about my husband cheating on me. I have three kids and I would die if they found it. I don't want them to know that their dad is a cheater.

So, why don't I talk to friends or family? Ha, that really is funny. First of all, I haven't kept in contact with most of my family throughout my adult life. It would be odd to say the least if I decided to call them up and wanted to sob on their shoulder.

Plus, I'm a private person. And I know how my family would react. As soon as I hung up the phone, they would be calling everyone else in the family to let them know what a no-good SOB I married. No thanks, I don't need that.

Friends? Yeah, I long for those friends to the end that you see on television and I guess that some people actually know. And I've had a couple of them myself. However, I have moved too much to be able to stay in touch with any of them.

But most of my so-called 'friends' over the years would have gossiped behind my back and the whole Peyton Place where I live would know everything in a week, tops.

Like I said, I'm a private person. I don't want everyone to know my business. And as I mentioned before, I don't want my children finding out about the whole affair.

But another reason I don't just talk to a good friend is that I don't have any. You see, I spent the last twenty years or so staying at home with the kids. It was my choice, and I don't regret it at all. I have loved being able to spend so much time with them as they grew up. As they have grown into adults, they have become the best friends I could ever have wanted.

In the meantime, I started some internet websites that have started to trickle money in slowly. So now, my kids are all grown up. Because I stayed home with the kids all those years and worked at home, now I have no social life at all. I know no one. How could I? Between raising the kids and working on a computer in my bedroom, there was no time or opportunity to meet people.

So, voila, the He Cheated on Me blog was born. Here's hoping that it will help me deal with this. Maybe I can help others, too.

And I know it's not just husbands that cheat. Wives cheat, too. Surveys show that with more women in the workplace, wives cheat almost equally as often as men. So, whether your husband cheated or your wife, girlfriend, or boyfriend, we are in this together.

I wish you future happiness, whatever choices you decide to make with your life and your significant other.